I WANT ALL THE GOATS

Harvey Truffle made his was through the maze of submarine replicas, looking for his young girlfriend whom he had met while browsing titles in a used-book store over on Tenth. The replicas had a certain feel-good look to them, and Harvey felt pretty good himself. At least that’s what he thought as he made his way through the maze. The girlfriend was nowhere to be found, however, and this made Harvey cross. 

'I’m gonna get me a hot dog,' he mentioned to himself. And in a few minutes he came upon a hot dog stand, one of those kind you find right by the curb, near the road, where all the cars pass very very close. 'Hey,' Harvey said aloud to the man who ran the hot dog stand, 'how about it?' And the man who ran the hot dog stand acknowledged Harvey’s request, which for Harvey was mixed with the sweetness of a hunger wish, and prepared a large hot dog complete with relish, mustard and ketchup. The man who ran the hot dog stand had never served Harvey Truffle as a customer, but for some reason could tell what he wanted on the hot dog, for he had a way of telling such things since he had been the man who ran the hot dog stand on that corner for years. 

Harvey paid for the hot dog and walked off, looking where he was going as he munched on it. 'This is a very good hot dog,' he thought, and pretty soon it was gone. 

When Harvey Truffle arrived home, which was, on a more precise note, his house or dwelling or living quarters, he opened the door and went in. There, smack in the centre of the living room, was the plush burgundy recliner and side table that supported a remote control for the television, which sat two strides away. Harvey sat and turned on the television. 

It needs to be said here that Harvey Truffle lived an existence filled with the exuberance of a happy man. He smiled at many people, even those he didn’t like very much, and went out of his way to prove himself a nice person. 

But, like most anyone, Harvey had his days. 

It’s just that this wasn’t one of them.

© 2023 Jeffrey S. Callico